f you’re looking for successful strategies for dating, you want to make sure that your date sets the groundwork for any kind of relationship that follows. If you’re a woman that likes to make sure that she’s heard and her needs are taken seriously, then taking too passive a role in that first date can work against you. Here, we’re going to look at how you can take the lead, being more confident and assertive without being too aggressive.

Split the bill

Aside from being a pitch-perfect test for men who might be under the thrall of toxic masculinity, splitting the bill on your date allows you to showcase a touch of independence and can also nip in the bud any issues of ideas of what a man is “owed” when he pays for a date. There’s nothing wrong with a guy offering to pay, of course, many of them have been socialized to do that. However, if he gets upset or angry if you pay your share, that can be a red flag for sure.

Set the conversation

With the traditional paradigm of the woman being treated as the “passive” member of the pair during a date, the guy is expected to lead the way and win her over. However, you can show that you’re a lively and engaging person by taking the reigns of the conversation from time to time. You can come prepared with some questions for a guy to better know him. Of course, it’s important to answer questions as well, as well as to actively listen and respond.

Text ahead of the date

There are a lot of benefits to texting before a date. A simple “I’m looking forward to it” or simply confirming the time and place can open the dialogue and break the ice before the date begins. This can help to soothe the nerves of both parties and also shows that you’re actively anticipating it, rather than putting off too cold a front. Just avoid texting too often and too early before it begins, as a little too much communication can mean there isn’t enough left to anticipate when you actually meet.

Don’t be afraid to express some interest

A lot of women are wary about being the one to break barriers because most of us have some kind of experience of a man taking a mile when given an inch. However, playing hard to get isn’t just going to set a toxic precedence for the rest of the relationship, it’s also going to force you into a role where you might not feel as comfortable expressing interest or affection as the relationship goes on. Making the first move when you’re both vibing can take a lot of pressure off of both of you.

Of course, the effectiveness of the tips above will depend on whether the guy you’re dating likes a woman who takes the lead. But if that’s your personality type, you don’t want to attract someone who doesn’t fit you in the first place.